Home is where the heart is

Home is where the heart is; the place or person you love the most. That idiom has been ringing in my ear so to speak for some time now. And since that has been a lingering thought, I had to explore it. To begin with, I asked myself where is your heart which is a loaded question? But it was a thought provoking one nonetheless. Let’s start with the place since I’m a little light on the person being that it’s not “boo” season for me yet. God is still working it out for me but y’all look out it’s coming. And when he does there won’t be any confusion about home. My heart will be wherever he is.*  I’m loving that positive energy right there! You go girl, speak it into existence!  In the meantime, I will wait well.

Any who, now back to the place and my heart. The home that I have made is home but it’s not home home – the place where I received my foundation and influence. My parents are the greatest symbolism of home and when I drive through their neighborhood and see all the familiar places I feel welcomed home.

Thanksgiving just passed and my oldest sis with her awesome hospitality had an activity we were to play which was to write down two things we were thankful for and another family member would read it.  Well, we didn’t get to it because of the late arrivals (side eye) which caused a conflict in our bellies so we just jumped to grace. But, I thought about it and would say the two things I am most thankful for are my parents and the life I have. My parents with their flaws and all are perfection for the simple reason they make the significant deposits in us that really matter.  My darling mother has a tendency to go “toe to toe” with me on issues particularly on my conservative views and the other day I just had to break it down to her and set the record straight with these words “where you think I got it from” and she just had to laugh.  She’ll find another angle to give the dissent though! Lol!

My life is not fully where I want it to be but I am grateful.  When I complain, I think about the song “it could have been me.”   I’m hopeful because as it is written “what no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived – the things God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9).  Your greater is coming my friends!  XOXO ~Chante

*My parents didn’t raise no fool though 😉

Chante Prox is a family law attorney and mediator practicing in the Dallas/Fort Worth area @ http://www.barnesproxlaw.com or follow her on twitter @ https://twitter.com/chanteprox for her sometimes random thoughts and whatnots.

Disclaimer: This information should not be considered as legal advice. Decisions should be based on consultation with a licensed attorney. This blog is for informative purposes only.

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It’s a Package Deal

dwyane-wade-gabrielle-unionOver the past weeks much has been said about the engagement of actress Gabrielle Union and NBA player Dwyane Wade. That talk has been with great speculation about the timing and reason for their formal agreement to wed. Even “bigger” news entangled in the announcement of love was the birth of Dwyane’s new baby boy, Xavier (that’s my son’s name too …just saying) and of course the “baby mama drama” that goes without saying.

But little focus has been on the role (and its significance) Dwyane’s boys played in the marriage proposal which I thought was absolutely darling not to mention clever on his part — I mean who would turn down children. The signs the boys held up which collectedly read “will you marry us,” spoke volumes with a very important message; it’s a package deal – a commitment to the children too! And I’m sure they spoke for the new baby sibling as well. To put it frankly, “outside” children matter. At least they should. They didn’t ask to be here, right?

When you marry someone with children, you in essence marry the children as well. If you don’t have this understanding, then you should say no and keep it moving even when your partner is too in love (putting it nicely) to see your lack of understanding. I’m sure Gabrielle embraces this concept as she has already established a loving relationship with the boys and they obviously feel the same way. Yes, she loves the man but that doesn’t always translate into loving the kids. You hear stories all the time about stepparents mistreating children. So, it’s not a given that your partner will play nice. Blended families are inherently strapped with struggles but they are viable.

I have a good friend from college that is an ideal stepmom and I have always admired how she embraced her stepson and to some degree his mother as well. She treated him with love and kindness and as her own. But, just like Gabrielle she was a foot lose fancy free “independent woman” living the good life before taking on her role as a stepmother. So it is with these better eyes that I look at this situation in a different light and not at the drama of the circumstances. The kids said it best – it’s a package deal. I wish them well. ~XOXO

Chante Prox is a family law attorney and mediator practicing in the Dallas/Fort Worth area @ www.barnesproxlaw.com or (817) 649-2700.

Disclaimer: This information should not be considered as legal advice. Decisions should be based on consultation with a licensed attorney. This blog is for informative purposes only.