Over the past weeks much has been said about the engagement of actress Gabrielle Union and NBA player Dwyane Wade. That talk has been with great speculation about the timing and reason for their formal agreement to wed. Even “bigger” news entangled in the announcement of love was the birth of Dwyane’s new baby boy, Xavier (that’s my son’s name too …just saying) and of course the “baby mama drama” that goes without saying.
But little focus has been on the role (and its significance) Dwyane’s boys played in the marriage proposal which I thought was absolutely darling not to mention clever on his part — I mean who would turn down children. The signs the boys held up which collectedly read “will you marry us,” spoke volumes with a very important message; it’s a package deal – a commitment to the children too! And I’m sure they spoke for the new baby sibling as well. To put it frankly, “outside” children matter. At least they should. They didn’t ask to be here, right?
When you marry someone with children, you in essence marry the children as well. If you don’t have this understanding, then you should say no and keep it moving even when your partner is too in love (putting it nicely) to see your lack of understanding. I’m sure Gabrielle embraces this concept as she has already established a loving relationship with the boys and they obviously feel the same way. Yes, she loves the man but that doesn’t always translate into loving the kids. You hear stories all the time about stepparents mistreating children. So, it’s not a given that your partner will play nice. Blended families are inherently strapped with struggles but they are viable.
I have a good friend from college that is an ideal stepmom and I have always admired how she embraced her stepson and to some degree his mother as well. She treated him with love and kindness and as her own. But, just like Gabrielle she was a foot lose fancy free “independent woman” living the good life before taking on her role as a stepmother. So it is with these better eyes that I look at this situation in a different light and not at the drama of the circumstances. The kids said it best – it’s a package deal. I wish them well. ~XOXO
Chante Prox is a family law attorney and mediator practicing in the Dallas/Fort Worth area @ www.barnesproxlaw.com or (817) 649-2700.
Disclaimer: This information should not be considered as legal advice. Decisions should be based on consultation with a licensed attorney. This blog is for informative purposes only.